Problemele generate de autoturisme au fost tratate cate odata cu mult umor si mai putina patima de posesorii acestora. Fiecare model din lume s-a remercat printr-o defectiune anume care a inspirat milioane de soferi in atribuirea unor porecle, uneori bine ancorate in realitate. Daca romanii sugerau o alta optiune pentru Dacia (Daca Ai Cap Ia-ti Alta), americanii au fost mult mai exigenti cand venea vorba de autoturismele personale.
ACURA – A Car Usually Rarely Appreciates
AUDI – Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
BMW – Bavarian Money Waster, Biggest Metal Waste, Bring More Women
BUICK – Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer, Big Ugly Idiot’s Cat Killer
CADILLAC – Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions,Company Asking Dealers If Local Lawyers Are Calling
CHEVROLET -Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
CHEVY – Crap Hasn’t EVolved Yet, Can Hear Every Valve
CHRYSLER – Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
DAEWOO – Damn Asian Engineering Works Only Occasionally
DODGE – Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater, Dear Old Dad’s Garbage Engine,
FERRARI – Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively
FIAT – Fix it again, Tony!, Failure In Italian Automotive Technology
FORD – Fix Or Repair Daily, Found On Road Draggin, First On Repair Day, Found On Road Dead
FORD MUSTANG – Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage
GM – General Maintenance, Generally Malfunctions, Genital Motors
GMC – Getting Mostly Crap, Generally Makes Clouds, Greatest Mistake Created, Get More Cash!
HONDA – Had One, Never Did Again,
HUMMER – Hope U Made Me Extra Reliable,Huge Ugly Mother, Mostly Eats Resources
Jeep -Just Empty Every Pocket, Just Expect Every Problem, Just Eats Every Penny,
Jaguar – Jumps Around Grinds Uncontrollably Always Rusting
Kia – Keep It Away! Killed In Action
LOTUS – Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious
Maserati – Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements
MAZDA -Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt
MERCEDES -My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke
OLDSMOBILE -Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
PONTIAC – Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky Ass Crap
PORSCHE – PLENTY OF REPAIRS SERVICE CAN’T HELP EVERYTHING, Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything
SAAB -Some Ass Actually Boughtit! Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown, Stop Asking About Brakes!
SUBARU – Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
TOYOTA – Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO – Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW -Virtually Worthless
sursa: automotive humor
Stii ce ziceau nemtii: Daca nu ar fi fost Opel noi chiar am fi facut masini bune.
Gogu Manivelă, bărbat în putere, 30 de ani, sănătos ca un taur, moare peste noapte în somn, fără să fi suferit de nici o boală . Ajunge la la Sfântul Petru şi, nervos la culme, îl ia la zor: tataie, ce caut eu aici, uită-te la mine, tânăr, sănătos, nu m-a călcat maşina, să mor tocmai eu aşa, din senin?
Sfântul Petru, abia trezit din somn şi uimit de vehemenţa omului: da, pare ciudat, să verificăm. Şi scoate catastiful. Îl deschide, caută încruntat, după care se luminează la faţă şi exclamă: E totul clar, ai murit de bătrâneţe.
Manivelă, în pragul apoplexiei: ai înebunit, nu te uiţi la mine??
La care Sf Petru, de-acum calm, relaxat: Da, aici scrie că ai 100 de ani. S-au însumat orele de manoperă din facturile emise de tine.
Fiat: F**king Italian Attempt (at) Transportation.
Fiat: Failure in Automotive Technology
Fiat: Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Fiat: Fix It Again Tony?
Fiat: Fix It All the Time
Fiat: F*ck in a Taxi.